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The Dossier of Coercion


Many people fundamentally misunderstand my struggle. They believe I’m simply unable to "get over" the separation from Jeff, or that I haven’t moved on. That’s not it. My issue is not about an "us" that may or may not still exists; it’s about the relentless, deliberate forces that have systematically dismantled every step I’ve taken to move forward for myself. Pocatello has never been a healthy place for me—a stifling environment where I’ve always felt suppressed. My marriage and our Irish cleaning company were the buffers that gave me the strength to put on the mask necessary to engage with this community. Without them, I’m terrified to move forward, as every effort I’ve made, especially in the past year and a half, has been attacked, manipulated, or coerced away from me, leaving lasting residual effects backed by hard evidence.


The Pattern of Systematic Sabotage


Time and again, I pushed. Every time I found my footing, every time I reached a place where I could breathe—a space void of the heartbreak and trauma, where I could see a light—it was systematically taken from me. It was orchestrated, deliberately pulled away. This pattern of systemic attack began even before Jeff left. In Boise, when I was experiencing a nervous breakdown due to relentless taunting and harassment via Bluetooth technologies and my phone being hacked, I reached out to the prosecutor as advised, hoping it would stop. It didn’t. I informed the prosecution, my therapists, psychiatrist, law enforcement in Boise and elsewhere, and other mental and legal professionals about what was happening. I also submitted information to the Department of Justice, ACLU, FBI, Homeland Security, Idaho State Police, US Federal Marshals, and First Nation, specifically regarding my medical care and the gaslighting from local government officials. When I confided in Jeff—given his similar experience five years prior, which I’d helped him through while he was dating someone else in Boise—he looked me dead in the eyes and said, “It’s those familial connections, Dustin.” We both knew exactly what he meant regarding the harassment, coercion, and constant manipulation of my mental health.


This was further confirmed by psychiatrists and medical professionals at Portneuf Medical Center. Portneuf also documented attempts—I won’t say by whom—to have me declared psychologically unstable or incompetent, to have my rights revoked and placed in theHands of another. Furthermore, they confirmed at least fifteen occasions where HIPAA was completely violated regarding my charts and medical care. I’ve been actively pursued by men associated with Jeff, including a past abuser who still terrifies me. This connection was confirmed not only by the situations themselves but by two individuals who came to my door—one brought by an FBI agent—who told me I was being intentionally manipulated and used, though they wouldn’t reveal the full extent.


I was intentionally and deliberately forced back to Pocatello. This might be hard to believe, but it’s the undeniable truth. I applied for 87 jobs, and every single offer was rescinded shortly after, with the same vague explanation: “information received” or “a call from someone.” Attempts to meet new people, new men, have been met with harassment. These men were either told baseless lies directly affecting me or were harassed to the point of cutting off even friendly communication. My pursuit of answers from law enforcement and the judiciary, despite presenting factual, backed-up evidence, has been met with dismissal and ignorance.


Following a physical assault by Jeff in May 2024, he manipulated the legal situation to create the appearance that I was attempting to have him imprisoned again. He claimed he was “scared” of retaliation, which led the court to grant him temporary leave to return to Boise during ongoing proceedings. 

Shortly after Jeff left, Person A (rapist), a significant figure from my past, reappeared on a gay dating app. I’m unsure whether I reached out first or he found me, but the interaction was triggered because Jeff told me he went to see Person A immediately upon returning to Boise, claiming they were hanging out. When I pressed for details, Jeff dismissed it as “very boring” and said he had no intention of seeing Person A again. (I later learned this was a lie, as Jeff admitted in Boise to seeing Person A multiple times.) My messaging with Person A went nowhere in terms of useful information, so I blocked him.


Around the same time, several men who had been sexually and chemically involved with Jeff (and, in some cases, with me at different points) began unexpectedly interacting with me. Most of these individuals had previously disliked me and had helped Jeff construct false narratives to cover his overnight or daytime escapades. 

One such individual, Person B, entered our lives as a sexual partner, but I discovered that our first meeting was not actually our first—Jeff and Person B had already been seeing each other beforehand. Jeff had also been secretly sleeping with Person B’s boyfriend at the time, without either knowing, which destroyed Person B’s relationship. 

After Jeff left, Person B suddenly started engaging with me, despite never showing real interest before. We used substances together while I was in a deeply vulnerable state—my husband was gone, not communicating, acting cold and cruel, and I was under constant emotional and mental assault. Most disturbingly, Person B was allegedly in contact with Jeff the entire time, making his sudden involvement highly suspicious, likely part of a larger manipulation.

Another individual, Person C, who had become exclusively Jeff’s partner in sexual and drug-related contexts, reached out to me in emotional distress, claiming that Person D, a key player in Jeff’s circle, and others had assaulted and intimidated him. He said he needed to escape the situation. I picked Person C up, fed him, let him sleep at my place, and he left. 

Later, when Person B was at my house, Person C called again, saying he felt threatened by Person D and needed refuge. Both Person B and Person C independently described a horrifying scenario: Person D had subjected them to “trials” or psychological tests at a discarded, run-down trailer, involving extreme mental manipulation and intimidation tactics. Both insisted Jeff was not present during these events.

The most alarming pattern was that nearly every man Jeff brought into our lives in the last year, especially the final six months before he left, was directly connected to Person A. This was highly unusual, given that most of these men didn’t frequently travel to Boise, and Person A had allegedly been in prison for a period.

Knowing something was deeply off, I intentionally provoked conflicts with some of these men, particularly those I suspected were Confidential Informants (CIs). My goal was to gain access to their circles, confirm whether Jeff was receiving reports about me, and expose the Person A connection. I discovered that these men were absolutely reporting back—either to Jeff or someone else. Jeff received detailed updates (or at least “cliff notes”) about my interactions, and the entire network seemed to orbit around Person A. This confirmed that Jeff’s sudden reconnection with Person A was not coincidental, the identical stories from Person B and Person C suggested coordinated psychological abuse, and the overlap between Jeff’s recent partners and Person A’s associates indicated a deliberate, long-game manipulation.


The Spiritual and Legal Complexities


What compounds this situation is the violation of agreements Jeffrey and I made before he went stone-cold silent. For spiritual and personal reasons, we had agreed that if we were to seek legal action, we would not seek divorce but would move forward with a legal separation. As per our faith tradition and particularly my lineage, divorce is not allowed, most particularly because we have an eternally bound spiritual covenant. This covenant, rooted in my lineage’s sacred tradition, is an eternal bond that forbids divorce and restricts me from dating or engaging in sexual activity outside the marriage—a commitment Jeff fully understood during our four-year engagement.


Our relationship and marriage allowed for plural relationships so long as the whole covenant remained intact—that whole covenant being both the civil and the spiritual element because they were created at the same time, blending as one covenant. Because of this covenant, though I’ve never received a divorce decree, I am spiritually bound to not even date or engage in sexual activity with any other. When I received divorce papers from Jeffrey, they looked like they were filled out by a four-year-old in ten minutes. His signature and legal name were not appropriately applied to any part of the documents. The signature itself is not how he has ever signed his name, and it was not, as far as I could tell, his handwriting. This was completely contrary to the legal separation papers I had sent him via email that, with some slight adjustments, would have stacked everything in his favor.


Regarding Police Involvement and My Philosophy


Some have asked why I haven’t simply filed with the police or allowed them to take over these matters. While I will use law enforcement when absolutely necessary, my preferred method is to use them solely as an intimidation tactic: to get people to back off, to draw a clear line. I use them to convey, “Hey, you can’t move forward with this. He has said this. Please stop. If you continue, he can have us take action.” That is usually the absolute extent of my interaction with law enforcement. My fundamental reluctance to pursue arrests or full legal involvement stems from profound, deeply painful past experiences. Years ago, after I was raped, I called 911, ran into the street in just a towel, was picked up by the sheriff’s department, went through a rape kit, and then endured detectives who treated me with utter contempt. They essentially mocked me, as a guy, for being raped by another guy. Bannock County then decided that because we both had penises, they wouldn’t press charges. My abuser went on to assault others three to four more times, forcing me to testify in Idaho Falls and relive that horror yet again. It was after that experience that I vowed, “Never again.” Furthermore, when I was younger, around 15, I reported instances of abuse in school only to be yelled at and forced to retract my statements. Consequently, I generally do not pursue these avenues because I gain nothing from having someone arrested. It doesn’t give me control. When it comes to sexual assaults and other abuses, the legal system provides no true resolution or benefit to the victim. You gain nothing; it just forces you to constantly relive the trauma, makes it a matter of public record—leading to intrusive questions and detailed conversations I find utterly unhelpful. Putting someone in jail truly gains me nothing; it’s not like you report it and receive support or healing. No, from the moment the sexual assault or abuse begins, once law enforcement and the courts are involved, it’s just a relentless continuation of the trauma, this time through endless recounting and being forced to relive it for the benefit of others.


In the specific situation with Jeff, I was constantly being told I was unstable, that I was creating the problems. So, I left our home numerous times, for days on end, to see if I truly was the problem. If I was, I would have taken corrective action. What I found, though, was that the insanity and chaos intensified when I was gone, and not in relation to me, but around my home and my husband. This realization, combined with the physical altercations and Jeff constantly blaming me for hindering his counseling and doctor’s appointments, led to an undeniable understanding: even if I removed myself, the situation only spiraled further out of control. It was after many hours of agonizing thought, weighing the potential costs, that I made the incredibly difficult decision to call the police that day. My priority was his health and well-being, even above our relationship. All I truly wanted was for him to attend his scheduled counseling and medical appointments, which he consistently claimed I was preventing. I even offered to take him to rehab after the police were notified, explaining that charges would likely be dropped in that scenario. He refused, and the rest is known.


The Abandonment and Betrayal


Jeffrey did something while I was in Boise that caught me completely off guard. When I told him about a sexual assault that had taken place with the person I was staying with, he told me to go home to my mother’s. This is completely out of character for him, as he knew and knows that my biggest fear was the fear of being stuck in Pocatello should we ever separate. Over the past 14-15 years, we have argued numerous times about my absolute want, desire, and need to move and leave Pocatello permanently.


When Jeff and I returned to Pocatello from Spokane, there was a massive blowup between the two of us. I did all I could to persuade him not to bring us back to Pocatello. I begged and pleaded. In fact, I was so angry with him that when we returned, we ended up in a physical altercation the very first night we were back. The assault in May 2024 further deepened this betrayal, as Jeff’s subsequent legal manipulations painted me as the aggressor, exacerbating the systemic efforts to undermine my autonomy and credibility.


What Kept Me Going


The only reason over the past couple of years I didn’t leave when Jeffrey went on his excursions for months or a year or so with other men is because I had the Irish cleaning company left in my hands by its other owner and creator. I used that as my focus in our relationship. For me, my dedication and service to our company was dedication, service, and devotion to him, as we named it after him. This made it bearable during the past 7-8 years when things would happen, because I was still living both my covenant and my true calling—a calling of hearth, home, heart, and marriage.


The Real Source of My Anger


Many people misunderstand what I was angry about, both now and in the past when similar situations occurred. During his disappearances, it wasn’t what he was doing that upset me—it was the secretiveness and the fact that healthy and normal respect of just informing me and keeping me up to date on what to expect, or when to expect him home, and that he was okay and safe, was completely disregarded.


I did what I feel any person would do when their spouse or loved one is suddenly MIA and there is no way to know if they are okay, or if they’re even with healthy people who would make sure that if something went wrong with their activities, he would be taken care of and I would be notified. So I would make a missing person’s report. That’s all.


Regarding the boyfriend situation: every boyfriend he’s had while we’ve been together, I have actually cared very much about. When he’s wandered off from them or written them off, I’ve stayed in contact with them many times and helped them over and over. I have never judged the boyfriends. In fact, when Jeff has fought with them, I have actively taken their sides many times. Because of the structure of our covenants and religion, it is easy for me to love them as he loves as well.


What is not easy for me is the deception and the willful and intentional act of playing me and the others against each other. What I have found in every situation is that if the other person and I have an opportunity, unhindered, to communicate, talk, and see each other, we ourselves begin to build a relationship of sorts. He hates when that happens.


Every time you’ve run off with other men, I have financially helped you. I have supported both you and your boyfriends. I have paid for hotel rooms, cell phones, food, and trips. I have even given money to your boyfriends at the time when they’ve asked or needed it. My only anger was the intentional deceit and lying and the playing of people against each other for his own selfish emotional and sexual desires.


Current Legal Obstacles


In the past couple of weeks, I filed with Bennett County courthouse to have the NCO (No Contact Order) dropped that is in place between Jeffrey and myself, where I am the protected party. I did this because our taxes for the company and ourselves have not been filed. I cannot do anything with them without his information—he had W-2s and other things that need to be incorporated.


Legally, because the company, due to our marriage, is listed as a sole proprietorship LLC, the government sees us as one legal entity. The IRS, when you form an LLC and you are married co-owners, gives you the option to file as a sole proprietorship—there are many benefits and tax breaks for this. This is how it has been for 7-8 years.


With him not communicating or having no way to get information back and forth that he would respond to, our taxes have yet to be filed. That has led me to worry that if he filed taxes individually on income that he did earn outside of the company, that is technically tax fraud.


The System’s Failure


I attended the Zoom meeting and entered the courtroom, hoping to address these legal matters and some medical issues I have, and to see if he would be willing to help me with some of them. I was informed that the judge, the defense, and the prosecution—who, as the alleged victim in the case, have a legal obligation and responsibility to work not only in the state’s interest but in my personal interest first and foremost—had already decided before anything could even be said or discussed that the NCO would remain in place because “Jeffrey’s doing so great.”


I brought up my issues and was just told that wasn’t their problem and that I should hire an attorney and do this through legal means—which I was doing right then and there. I didn’t ask for us to move back in together, just to have communication so things could be handled. The judge’s response was, “Well, just get some counseling and hire someone to help you.”


Yet again, I had to explain that because of all these things that have happened, my agoraphobia has skyrocketed, my PTSD was elevated to CPTSD, and I have new diagnoses of DTD/DPD, which they could have diagnosed when I was a child or young adult if they ever looked up what the hell’s been wrong with me.


The Truth About My Struggle


My desperate pleas for the truth, for the facts about what transpired before Jeff left and even after, have been met with a stone-cold wall of silence from those who know or could help. I don’t seek emotional understanding; I demand the tangible facts, the literal events that occurred. There’s a gaping void in my understanding of my own life, of why these things are happening to me and why they won’t cease. This is the source of my anger, why I’m becoming hateful.


I have been intentionally manipulated, deceived, coerced, and corralled. I’ve been denied access to the truth and the realities of life that have been hidden from me and continue to be. This concealment has had a direct bearing on my emotional, financial, spiritual, autonomous, and physical well-being.


The Bottom Line


So, let me be unequivocally clear: this isn’t about me not getting over a breakup. My issue is that I am being abused, even to this day, and no one will tell me why or offer help. The systematic destruction of my attempts to move forward, the violation of our spiritual agreements, the legal obstacles deliberately placed in my path, and the wall of silence surrounding the truth of my own life—this is not the aftermath of a relationship ending. This is ongoing, deliberate, systematic abuse, and I demand answers from those who know the truth: Jeff, the legal system, and anyone complicit in this concealment. I deserve the facts, and I will not stop until they are revealed.

 

I was not meant for boxes

I was designed to shine

I am

I am not disposable

I am not silicone

I am human

I am flesh

I am blood

I am purpose

I am divine 

And I will be seen



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© 2025 Ink Blots & Spilled Thoughts & The House of Luxferian. All rights reserved.

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