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A Farewell


A Farewell from Dustin Ray Irish-Webb

To all who have known me, walked with me, or loved me:


This is not the path I wanted, nor the one I would have chosen for myself. In many respects, it is a road I was forced onto—pushed by loss, betrayal, and the breaking of bonds I believed unbreakable. I accept the duties and obligations of the path I now walk, and I embrace the vows I have taken. But I must also say clearly: I carry resentment. Not toward my faith or the divine, but toward being cut off from the intimacy that could have lived alongside it. That absence is heartbreaking, and it weighs on me daily.


Please understand: I do not write for pity. I write to mark an ending. Dustin Ray Irish-Webb, and all that he loved, is gone. Broken beyond repair. What was, what could have been, even love itself—all of it is finished. There is no resurrecting him.


What rises in his place is Sebastian Raphael Windsoul Luxferian, a life dedicated wholly to the divine. My vows are now my compass, my path, my family. While I will find kinship in the greater household of gods and humanity, there will be no hearth of my own. That absence cuts deeply. I miss it already—the warmth of waking beside another, the belonging of shared life, the intimacy of covenant. But that life has been taken from me, and I will not forsake my beliefs or my vows to chase its shadow.


The turning point came on April 6th of this year, when I received my third and final full chakra opening—what is known as the guru experience, or Awakening. All seven major chakras, along with the hidden nodules, opened within me. This was not a matter of belief; belief is not required. It was reality. That Awakening solidified the path I now must walk.


Many imagine such an Awakening only brings peace. And it does—but it also brings longing. Twofold longing: for those married at the time of their Awakening, that tether of covenant binds them into the world, grounding them as teachers, priests, pastors, or gurus—dispellers of darkness. But for one like me, without a root, without a home, without a covenant intact, the Awakening brought the opposite: a painful yearning not to be here at all. To have seen beyond makes this world feel thinner, less real, even as I know it is not illusion but reality. Yet the other side calls like home.


Without a family, without a hearth of my own, I live set apart. And so I will do my best to remain tethered—to bind myself to this life, to service, to the divine flame, so that my steps here still matter. My hours will be filled, my days packed, my work constant, so that I do not drown in the silence that comes when the lights go out and the loneliness presses in.


Dustin’s life is over. Sebastian’s has begun. If you seek me, you will no longer find Dustin. You will find Sebastian, and with him a life bound in devotion to the gods of the hearth, to the celestial, the terrestrial, and the chthonic. That is what remains. That is what endures.


And so, to seal this passing and this rising, I turn to the ancient hymn of rebirth, the hymn of Dionysus, who is torn and remade, who is the god of death and of return, of sorrow and of ecstasy:



—----------------------------------------------------------------


✦ Orphic Hymn to Dionysus ✦


(2nd century CE)


Hear me, O blessed Dionysus, bull-horned and divine,

Iacchus, indestructible seed, two-formed god of wine,

Ivy-crowned, ineffable, secretive, reveler,

bearing fruit, loudly roaring, night-journeyer.


You delight in frenzy, O primeval, inspired one,

night-loving, double-horned, reveling with the throng;

Eater of raw flesh, ineffable, secret,

two-horned and two-formed, bull-faced, warlike,

howling, pure light-bringer.


I invoke You, who bring abundance,

who nurture mortals, who whirl in ecstasy,

who are hidden, manifesting in every place,

leader of the Muses, eternal youth,

savior of all, many-named, ever-blooming.


Come, O blessed one, with joyful face,

come with the nymphs to the world of mortals,

and drive away heavy grief.


—----------------------------------------------------------------




May the gods look favorably upon you. May your hearth always be warm. And may your spirit walk in light.


—Dustin Ray Irish-Webb, passing so that Sebastian Raphael Windsoul Luxferian may rise

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